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‘I have been a week without a pint of Large. Possibly, Professor, we might continue this discussion over a refreshing bevvy or two?’ ¡¡The Professor smiled gently and withdrew from his desk a folded map louis vuitton of the neighbourhood. ‘You certainly deserve a drink,’ he said, ‘and here’ – he took out a crisp new five-pound note – ‘have it on me.’ ¡¡Pooley accepted both map and fiver. ‘Thank you,’ he said, ‘this is most kind. Will you not join us for one?’ ¡¡’I think not,’ said the old man. ‘Study the map though and employ your wits. I ask only one favour: please bring me a pound’s worth of silver from the Swan’s cash register. From there and nowhere else, do you understand?’ ¡¡
if you will hear me out then you will find what I have to say greatly to your advantage.’ ¡¡Neville sighed deeply and felt at his groin. ‘I believe that I am getting old,’ he told Omally. ‘Do you know that I no longer look forward to Christmas?’ ¡¡John shook his head. He didn’t know that, although he wondered how it might be relevant. ¡¡’I haven’t had a birthday card in ten years.’ ¡¡’Sad,’ said John. ¡¡’At times coach outlet I wonder whether it is all worthwhile. Whether life is really worth all the pain, disappointment, and misery.’ He looked towards Omally with a sad good eye. ‘People take advantage of my good nature,’ he said. ¡¡’No?’ said John. ‘Do they?’ ¡¡
But how had he come to get the job in the first place? It had been a strange enough business by any accounts. ¡¡Neville remembered the advert in the Brentford Mercury: Tart-time barman required, hours and salary negotiable, apply in person. Flying Swan.’ ¡¡Now in his late twenties and making a career out of unemployment, Neville had jettisoned the camphor bags and forced himself into his one suit, given his brothel creepers a coat of Kiwi, and wandered down to Coach Outlet the Swan to present himself. The acting part-time barman, who shortly afterwards absconded with a month’s takings and several cases of scotch, had given him the summary once-over. He asked if he thought he could pull a pint, then hired him on the spot. ¡¡
‘Well, I was wrong.’ ¡¡’Tough luck,’ said Omally. ‘Say la vee as the French say.’ ¡¡’Are you certain?’ Pooley asked. Soap had always spoken with such conviction that even though Jim considered him to be three-halfpence short of a shilling, he had half-romantically wondered whether his tales might be true. ¡¡’I am indeed certain,’ said Soap. ‘It is the exact opposite. There are dwellers beneath, but far from being benign and benevolent they are foul and evil gucci factory outlet and intent upon one thing only: to leave this world of darkness and conquer the sun-soaked realm above.’ Soap’s pink eyes travelled upwards and John and Jim’s followed them. ¡¡
‘Now, now,’ said Omally. ‘I cannot believe all this. Surely if it were so, these fellows would have emerged years ago. They could surely have dug their way out. How did they come to be here in the first place?’ ¡¡’Ah,’ said Soap, giving his nose an annoyingly significant tap. ‘That is a tale indeed, and if you have time I will tell it.’ ¡¡’It would seem,’ said John, ‘that unless you feel so inclined as to lead us skywards, then we have all the time in the world.’ ¡¡’Certainly you are gucci handbags a captive audience, but I must impress upon you that this is a very important business, and that your help is sorely needed. I have no wish to return to the surface, my world is here. But neither do I have the wish to see mankind destroyed by these beings, or worse still, driven here to plague me.’ ¡¡
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